What a D-Bag.

Tiger Woods now famous voicemail to his mistress. You are an idiot. I hated golf the whole time anyways. D-bag.

This is unacceptable

A facebook friend (Yes, I am ashamed to say I know this person) recently updated their profile picture...TO THIS. Seriously, not ok. No one wants to see this. Really. This is a red flag, neon lit, "DON'T".

My Social Life has Napoleon Complex

When I was in college, my favorite Sunday ritual was my sorority's chapter meeting. Most people dreaded it and found it to be an inconvenience. I did the faux "The is such a pain in my ass" schitk, but truth was, I loved pulling out my bright red filo fax and filling in the parties, meetings, and events I "had" to attend.

Some things never change. I still love writing in my filo (Pen if its confirmed. Pencil if its not. And a Post-it for "Maybe's"), and now I get such joy out of filling up my outlook calendar. After scrolling and paging through, it seems that I do not have a single day free until 2010. I did have some personal days, mind you, but those few valuable week days I once had have now been sucked up into work trips to Philadelphia. Usually empty pages annoy me, but for once, my full filo pages kind of have me bummed out.

Its weird, but with all the "business" and holiday parties, and "events", it still feels like my life is socially empty. (Cue violins, box of kleenex and a general "Boo Hoo"). I am offering advice which I am hoping to listen to as well. Personal time should be a priority, a full filo fax doesn't equate a "full life". Bigger isn't better and quantity should not be valued over quality. I am going to try to utilize my week in California during Christmas to unwind and relax, but holidays with the whole extended family tend to have the opposite effect on me.

Here's to hoping that 2010 will be quieter, healthier, and happier.

Turkey Drop is Very Very Real

Em: turky drop IS REAL!
this girl i work with
her and her bf broke up over the weekend
they had been together for 5 years

Elle: I TOLD YOU!
And Charlie Weiss got fired... Turkey drop is very very real

The Turkey Drop

Em and I have said before that its an openly accepted concept that if you are a girl and single (like single-single) at Thanksgiving, you will not be relationshipp-ed until March 1st. Why? Well, what boy wants to get sucked into an orbit of holiday parties, NYE plans, and Valentines day? (ALERT: If you meet someone between Thanksgiving and Valentine's day, and he is quick to pull a relationship trigger, BEWARE, you could have a potential Stage 5 clinger...OR he's gay and using your new relationship as an excuse to see the Rockette's Christmas Spectacular).

In this same vein of thinking, if a guy wants to get out of a relationship, the least douche baggy way to do this is before Thanksgiving. Why? Well you look like an ASS if you do it around Christmas, and even assholes don't want to LOOK like assholes. You will also look like an ass-hat if you screw up her NYE plans/ life by doing it around New Years, and then come Valentines day. There us no way out for months unless you get out before Thanksgiving, on in the case of my friend, ON Thanksgiving.

Turkey drop is real, and not just because it was mentioned on NPR, my friend B was dumped this weekend, Thanksgiving weekend. Via phone. While she was home. UGH! She says it was out of nowhere (they usually are, aren't they?). Breakups are always an ouch, breakups during the holidays can be a bigger ouch. But the consolation is knowing you are no longer dating a douche who planned your break-up according to a Calendar.

PS - I am ignoring the rumors that Jake and Reese are victims of the Turkey Drop. Say it isn't so!

Blackberry Messenger: The Last Frontier of Intimacy

Elle: Are you BBM friends yet?
Me: No, no...I mean you have to exchange pins...
Elle: .....And you'll know if each other read the message...
Me: Yeah...so, no.
Elle: Good call. Don't want too much too soon.

Be careful, Jennifer Humphrey. If you come down the rabbit hole, it's going to take more than Blair Waldorf and your army of minions to drag you back out.

While the heading above is a line from the last aired Gossip Girl, it could easily read "Be careful, Em. If you come down the rabbit hole, it's going to take more than Elle and your army of minions to drag you back out." Word, Chuck Bass. And by Rabbit Hole, I mean Facebook.

After Elle started dating Mr. Brown last year, she for the first time in relationship history decided not to peruse his arsenal of pictures to discover every who/what/where/when about her new man. At the time, armed with her password and username, I did the necessary dirty work to at least make sure he wasn't a serial killer. I now understand her impulse not to dig.

After a few good dates with the guy Elle accosted in New York (best friend ever, PS) and newly granted access to his Facebook profile, I have found myself itching to look at his pictures...knowing all too well a few more clicks could shove me face first down the rabbit hole of no return- aka obsessing about all the things I don't know (and frankly, and obviously, shouldn't at this point).

With so much internet and stalking tools at our fingertips, it's hard just to step away- but seriously, do it. I realized after a few too many clicks today (and some SOS bbm's to Elle), that my desire to scour all available information is just due to distrust and insecurity  bred from my last dating experience. Not only has he not earned my unparalleled Nancy Drew skills used against him, but I ultimately have to put all of the baggage behind me. It has absolutely no place in my new city, with my new job, and new life.

Posing Lesson

I've talked about strategic posing before, so here is another tip for the Holiday Season. Btdubs, ladies, the arm pop doesn't work when your arms are incapable of looking smaller. Dressing for your body? Always, always a do.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Even though John Madden won't be around this year to hand out the Turkey Trophy post football game (as my brother's friend just said, that is like Santa Claus quitting on Christmas), I hope everyone has an AMAZING Thanksgiving. I have a LOT to be thankful for in the past week, so much love to my great family and friends.

XO,

Em

Mini Facebook Rant

Pet Peeve: When people make an entire facebook photo album for less than 5 photos. Not acceptable. If you can't fill an album, throw the photos at the end of a generic collabortive album. Don't waste my time clicking on your subpar album attempt.

Get Set Up!

As of late, I have been a female version of "Hitch". Its much easier to focus on other people's love lives than mine own at the moment, and I am trying to bank some good Karma quite frankly. Whats so wrong with trying to send some good mojo out into the universe? I know, I may be sounding like a spritiual hippie of sorts, forgive me, I am already home in California for the holiday, so when in Rome!

Last weekend, after a full Saturday of beer and college football, me and some friends from college went to a friend's apartment for an impromptu Saturday Funday party. Long story short, my friend's luxury building has a game room/ lounge where where of my girlfriends found some nice guys and..invited them to our party. Weird? Not when you have been drinking all day.

ANYWAY, one cutie mentioned he was from DC, I jumped on it. No, no I didn't make out with him, I forced him to hand over his card so I could email him and set him up with the nicest, cutest DC gal I know, EM! My vetting process is simple, he was cute and lived in the DC Metro Area, yeah if they get married I will have the most AWESOME MOH speech, yeah, and if they get married, I am most certainly snagging the MOH crown.

I am jumping the gun obvs, but don't worry, I haven't ordered their Monogrammed Towels yet. My point is this, setting up your friends is not weird. Be open and up for it. Em obviously has alot of trust in me, for example when I called her and explained that I found her a date, she said "Cool!".

So be a good sport for heaven's sake, ya never know what could happen.

Make New Friends, But Keep The Old

A few weekends ago, a very smart girl I know commented that it is really hard to make good girl friends once you are out of school and working. Having just moved to a new city, with a new job and only three friends to my name, it is clear that making friends is not what it used to be in college or grad school. You actually have to make an effort if you want to find a new group of great girl friends.

1. Be A Joiner: In case you hadn't realized it yet, life is always going to be like high school and college- which also means it is still appropriate/necessary to join groups. Whether it be a professional association or a volunteer group, finding a new circle of friends is great even if you aren't new to a city.
2. Get Set Up: Blind dates aren't only for love connections- if you have a friend of a friend in your new city, get set up! What do you have to lose?
3. Be Proactive: People who already have settled groups of friends are less likely to invite a new person along- not because they don't like you, but because it honestly doesn't occur to them. ASK a coworker to get a drink, or what they are doing next weekend.

Holy Mother of Tartan

God, I love December. Besides the lack of real work days, presents, David Archuleta Christmas albums, and just overall cheer, December means sequins, tartan and dressing slightly ridiculous is all completely acceptable. I love it.

"Brick walls are there for a reason. They are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. The brick walls are there to stop people who don't want it badly enough." Randy Pausch - The Last Lecture

Summer is a verb...and I miss it.

I have a feeling its going to be a VERY long and VERY cold winter. Global warming be damned. No me gusta.