Turkey Drop is Very Very Real

Em: turky drop IS REAL!
this girl i work with
her and her bf broke up over the weekend
they had been together for 5 years

Elle: I TOLD YOU!
And Charlie Weiss got fired... Turkey drop is very very real

The Turkey Drop

Em and I have said before that its an openly accepted concept that if you are a girl and single (like single-single) at Thanksgiving, you will not be relationshipp-ed until March 1st. Why? Well, what boy wants to get sucked into an orbit of holiday parties, NYE plans, and Valentines day? (ALERT: If you meet someone between Thanksgiving and Valentine's day, and he is quick to pull a relationship trigger, BEWARE, you could have a potential Stage 5 clinger...OR he's gay and using your new relationship as an excuse to see the Rockette's Christmas Spectacular).

In this same vein of thinking, if a guy wants to get out of a relationship, the least douche baggy way to do this is before Thanksgiving. Why? Well you look like an ASS if you do it around Christmas, and even assholes don't want to LOOK like assholes. You will also look like an ass-hat if you screw up her NYE plans/ life by doing it around New Years, and then come Valentines day. There us no way out for months unless you get out before Thanksgiving, on in the case of my friend, ON Thanksgiving.

Turkey drop is real, and not just because it was mentioned on NPR, my friend B was dumped this weekend, Thanksgiving weekend. Via phone. While she was home. UGH! She says it was out of nowhere (they usually are, aren't they?). Breakups are always an ouch, breakups during the holidays can be a bigger ouch. But the consolation is knowing you are no longer dating a douche who planned your break-up according to a Calendar.

PS - I am ignoring the rumors that Jake and Reese are victims of the Turkey Drop. Say it isn't so!

Blackberry Messenger: The Last Frontier of Intimacy

Elle: Are you BBM friends yet?
Me: No, no...I mean you have to exchange pins...
Elle: .....And you'll know if each other read the message...
Me: Yeah...so, no.
Elle: Good call. Don't want too much too soon.

Be careful, Jennifer Humphrey. If you come down the rabbit hole, it's going to take more than Blair Waldorf and your army of minions to drag you back out.

While the heading above is a line from the last aired Gossip Girl, it could easily read "Be careful, Em. If you come down the rabbit hole, it's going to take more than Elle and your army of minions to drag you back out." Word, Chuck Bass. And by Rabbit Hole, I mean Facebook.

After Elle started dating Mr. Brown last year, she for the first time in relationship history decided not to peruse his arsenal of pictures to discover every who/what/where/when about her new man. At the time, armed with her password and username, I did the necessary dirty work to at least make sure he wasn't a serial killer. I now understand her impulse not to dig.

After a few good dates with the guy Elle accosted in New York (best friend ever, PS) and newly granted access to his Facebook profile, I have found myself itching to look at his pictures...knowing all too well a few more clicks could shove me face first down the rabbit hole of no return- aka obsessing about all the things I don't know (and frankly, and obviously, shouldn't at this point).

With so much internet and stalking tools at our fingertips, it's hard just to step away- but seriously, do it. I realized after a few too many clicks today (and some SOS bbm's to Elle), that my desire to scour all available information is just due to distrust and insecurity  bred from my last dating experience. Not only has he not earned my unparalleled Nancy Drew skills used against him, but I ultimately have to put all of the baggage behind me. It has absolutely no place in my new city, with my new job, and new life.

Posing Lesson

I've talked about strategic posing before, so here is another tip for the Holiday Season. Btdubs, ladies, the arm pop doesn't work when your arms are incapable of looking smaller. Dressing for your body? Always, always a do.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Even though John Madden won't be around this year to hand out the Turkey Trophy post football game (as my brother's friend just said, that is like Santa Claus quitting on Christmas), I hope everyone has an AMAZING Thanksgiving. I have a LOT to be thankful for in the past week, so much love to my great family and friends.

XO,

Em

Mini Facebook Rant

Pet Peeve: When people make an entire facebook photo album for less than 5 photos. Not acceptable. If you can't fill an album, throw the photos at the end of a generic collabortive album. Don't waste my time clicking on your subpar album attempt.

Get Set Up!

As of late, I have been a female version of "Hitch". Its much easier to focus on other people's love lives than mine own at the moment, and I am trying to bank some good Karma quite frankly. Whats so wrong with trying to send some good mojo out into the universe? I know, I may be sounding like a spritiual hippie of sorts, forgive me, I am already home in California for the holiday, so when in Rome!

Last weekend, after a full Saturday of beer and college football, me and some friends from college went to a friend's apartment for an impromptu Saturday Funday party. Long story short, my friend's luxury building has a game room/ lounge where where of my girlfriends found some nice guys and..invited them to our party. Weird? Not when you have been drinking all day.

ANYWAY, one cutie mentioned he was from DC, I jumped on it. No, no I didn't make out with him, I forced him to hand over his card so I could email him and set him up with the nicest, cutest DC gal I know, EM! My vetting process is simple, he was cute and lived in the DC Metro Area, yeah if they get married I will have the most AWESOME MOH speech, yeah, and if they get married, I am most certainly snagging the MOH crown.

I am jumping the gun obvs, but don't worry, I haven't ordered their Monogrammed Towels yet. My point is this, setting up your friends is not weird. Be open and up for it. Em obviously has alot of trust in me, for example when I called her and explained that I found her a date, she said "Cool!".

So be a good sport for heaven's sake, ya never know what could happen.

Make New Friends, But Keep The Old

A few weekends ago, a very smart girl I know commented that it is really hard to make good girl friends once you are out of school and working. Having just moved to a new city, with a new job and only three friends to my name, it is clear that making friends is not what it used to be in college or grad school. You actually have to make an effort if you want to find a new group of great girl friends.

1. Be A Joiner: In case you hadn't realized it yet, life is always going to be like high school and college- which also means it is still appropriate/necessary to join groups. Whether it be a professional association or a volunteer group, finding a new circle of friends is great even if you aren't new to a city.
2. Get Set Up: Blind dates aren't only for love connections- if you have a friend of a friend in your new city, get set up! What do you have to lose?
3. Be Proactive: People who already have settled groups of friends are less likely to invite a new person along- not because they don't like you, but because it honestly doesn't occur to them. ASK a coworker to get a drink, or what they are doing next weekend.

Holy Mother of Tartan

God, I love December. Besides the lack of real work days, presents, David Archuleta Christmas albums, and just overall cheer, December means sequins, tartan and dressing slightly ridiculous is all completely acceptable. I love it.

"Brick walls are there for a reason. They are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. The brick walls are there to stop people who don't want it badly enough." Randy Pausch - The Last Lecture

Summer is a verb...and I miss it.

I have a feeling its going to be a VERY long and VERY cold winter. Global warming be damned. No me gusta.

ENOUGH with the FOXING belts!

No seriously, I never liked this look- but this is just down right hideous.

Officially Obsessed With Cara Accessories

No idea where I'd wear it- but I love it.

The growing argument that the world is conspiring against me.

Can I please get a WHAT THE F-CK? Its only Wednesday. Like, COME ON!

• Mr. Brown's little brother invited me to a facebook group informing me that he lost his cell phone and needs new numbers. Hey Little Brown, I will not be calling you...ever. I am hoping you inadvertently invited ALL of your friends to this silly group, but seeing as how only under 100 people responded, I am not entirely certain that is the truth, that, or people are hoping you never call them ever again.
  
• Mr. Peter Pan texted/emailed/ called up a storm before/after/during the Giants-Chargers Game. This a.m. I come to find out (via facebook photos) that he went with a girl he had been dating over the summer. He also attended her birthday dinner... at her parents home...with her family. Have you NO SHAME?
• Today, Mr. Peter Pan invited me to his 29th birthday party. Do you really think I am going to partake in the celebrating of the turning of an age that he's refuses behave like? NO. Big fat NO. P.S. I will never go to Hoboken...ever....NOT ON MY LIFE.
• Some girl wrote on Mr. CT's wall asking why he was "ignoring the ladies", hey chicklet, get to the back of the line, I believe that is MY question.
• AND, FACEBOOK, WTF if with you asking me to "Get back in touch" with people? I am not going to Poke LK or write on his wall. Where have you been? That was sooooon last summer.
  

Sometimes you just gotta say, "What the...". Ya know how long long ago, the British found an island to send away all the bad people that they never wanted to see again? Well, Manhattan is my Australia.

Download This: Kevin Hammond- Maybe

Just Some Light Reading.

I laughed so hard when I saw the picture of this book because, let's face it, Elle has been on the receiving end (as have I) of some serious rants about how I will refuse to let any future male children of mine to become the emotionally stunted toxic man children that I have tolerated in one too many relationships. I like to think of this book as a preemptive strike to Peter Pan-dom.

Oops...I Did It Again

Part of my morning ritual, besides the general bitching/moaning that I am awake, is the blasting of whatever new music I have recently purchased on Itunes. This past week it has been all Carrie Underwood (Her album Play On was released last Tuesday). One of the catchiest songs on the CD is Songs Like This. Sample lyrics:

Wanna find some boy, rip his heart right out

First man I see, gonna take him down
It ain't the Christian thing to do, they say
But someone, somewhere's gotta pay

And if it wasn't for guys like you
There wouldn't be songs like this
And if you hadn't gone and done me wrong
I wouldn't go off like this
Yeah, even I'm surprised
How easy sweet revenge rolls off my lips
If it wasn't for guys like you
There wouldn't be songs like this

In anycase, the song got me thinking about how many girls I know, myself included, whose first reaction post break-up is to rip the heart out of some unsuspecting, and way too often, NICE guy. It's as if this new guy must as act as the ex-boyfriend proxy- someone to inflict the pain on that you were unable to in your last relationship.

Ultimately, though, this revenge by proxy rarely makes me feel better. Despite having the ice back in the veins and control back in my grasp, hurting someone else just to prove I still have my A-game really doesn't do anyone any good. That's not to say that I am not guilty- because I absolutely am. However I've also realized that our ex-boyfriends don't know (or care for that matter) that we are toying with someone else's emotions- and isn't the best revenge finding someone you actually want to be with, anyways?

"These are the last people in New York who think you matter"

Start spreading the news, I’m leaving today
I want to be a part of it - New York, New York
These vagabond shoes, are longing to stray
Right through the very heart of it - New York, New York

I wanna wake up in a city, that doesn’t sleep
And find I’m king of the hill - top of the heap

These little town blues, are melting away
I’ll make a brand new start of it - in old new york
If I can make it there, I’ll make it anywhere
It’s up to you - New York, New York

New York, New York
I want to wake up in a city, that never sleeps
And find I’m a number one top of the list, king of the hill
A number one

These little town blues, are melting away
I’m gonna make a brand new start of it - in old New York
And if I can make it there, I’m gonna make it anywhere

It up to you - New York New York
New York

Sometimes, ok alot of the time, I have a love/hate relationship with my little Island. I feel like my life can sometimes be a bad episode of Sex in the City, minus the Jimmy Choos. But today, I woke up in a great mood, the crisp fall weather makes me feel awake, alive and happy.

All my recent work travel has helped me to realize how happy I am to come back to my no-longer-shoe-box sized apartment and relax. The Yankees 27th World Series win means this song has been playing EVERYWHERE lately, but no bother, I love old blue eyes and love this song.

PS - Em comes to NYC this weekend! Yay!

"You're over. And so is that headband"

The GG is back. This is the first epi all season that I felt was reminiscent of Season 1. It was fierce, catty, and mildly tragic. LOVED it.

PS - Serena, you ARE a moron, and you are doomed for a life of being "the other woman". Jenny - I cannot wait to see your character's fall from grace when Eric and Blair take you down for real. You are a BETCH, a real big BETCH. True. However, I am UBER thankful that some of that raccoon eye make up has gone away. Thank GG.

Side note: Trip, you are a WASPy little dream boat.

As always... THE RECAP!

Mad Men Season Finale

Last night's season finale of Mad Men was depressing, uplifting and somehow in the end, satisfying- especially given that the third season had been by far the darkest mood of any of the prior seasons.

Check out NY Mag's Recap here.

PS: Finally my favorite characters were back: Joan, Roger, Peggy and even Pete!

How To Make an Adorable Chignon

Last week I had a meeting with an adorable girl who had the cutest updo- looked young and fresh, but still professional. Click here for a great video from Fitness Mag about creating a super easy chignon for work or night.

Sexy shoes are a MUST!

Every girl about town needs a pair of sexy shoes that make her feel kick-ass, hot, awesome, etc whenever she slips them on. Not a fan of the price point (even on sale!), but these Giuseppe Zanotti studded sandals are HOT! I want I want!

Quote of the Day

Gentleman, take heed:

"Always put a tie on. Always. It only takes an extra thirty seconds in the morning, and it’s always the smart move. Old-timers will think you’re an up-and-comer, young folks will know you mean business, and ladies will think you’re the kind of guy who might suddenly take them out to a decent restaurant. It’s always the smart move."

- Chuck Klosterman (Via Cary Ranolph)

Mini Rant: Cat Calls, honks and the like

Please, someone explain it to me, what is the desired effect of a cat call, or a call with "Oh Baby!". Do you see how fast I am walking? I have somewhere to be, you dip shit. This is Manhattan, EVERYONE has somewhere to be, if you don't, move to Long Island (Jab intended).

Do you really think I am going stop my power stride turn around and make out with you, random construction worker on a street corner? Or say, oh yeah, that brute, sexy, I am going to give that guy my number. NO.

Or you, over zealous honker. Do you think I am going to run after your car, or hope you hit the next red light so I can hop in? WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING? Has this method ever worked for you boys? Seriously. NO.

Rant over. Let your mornings commence as previously scheduled.

The only boys I will ever love unconditionally....

As you all know, Em and I are HUGE San Diego Chargers Fan. We love those boys in baby blue, so so so much. And much like a few other boys we know, they can be heart breakers. They will build you up, make you believe that this time, this time... its...IT, and then BAM, before you know it, the winds been knocked out of you and the rug is pulled out from under you, and its all over in a moment.

I am not a fair weather fan by any means. If they were ever 0-15, on game 16, I would still be rocking my baby blue tee, rooting for them to pull out a win. I would, of course, know the season was beyond saving though, but I would still hope for the best. My team is currently sitting on a 4-3 record, which is nothing much to write about in either direction. But at what point do I get excited and feel safe in feeling that this could be "the year"/ "the one", and on the other hand, at what point do we give up, throw our hands in the air and say, "this...just isn't it. Not this time."

It's always a leap of faith, and it's always (painfully) entirely out of our hands. We can't change the outcome of scores, or dates, but we can change how we react to them. We can be realistic about our expectations, and realize that a 4-3 record isn't the stuff that Super Bowl dreams are made of, so we don't lead ourselves to further disappointment down the road, say in, Week 16. Even still, no matter what happens this year, there is always hope that next year, will be ever better than the last.

If it isn't clicking on all cylinders, recognize it, and choose a realistic reaction that limits naivete and potential disappointment. I am not saying I can't hope that we'll turn the season around, go big, and make this year THE YEAR, but a girl's always got to have her feet on the ground, even if her heads in the clouds.

P Dot S - Going to the Chargers-Giants game this weekend at the Meadowlands and I could not be more pumped!

DYFU Top 10

On itunes they have celebrity playlists which I often peruse for new music when I am in a rut- I mean, what if it just so happens LeBron James and I are musical soul mates (I checked, we aren't)? It then occurred to me that it might be fun to put together my own faux celeb playlist...it never hurts to dig back through that music library to find some gems. Here are my top 10 songs which never, ever get old (and yes, I realize only two of these are even from this decade- what can I say, my parents socialized me correctly...and by that I mean, forced to listen to 38 Special and Steely Dan):

1. When The Lights Go Down In The City- Journey: Makes me want to instantly pack my bags for San Francisco.
2. Tracks of My Tears- Smokey Robinson and the Miracle Makers: Just love it- and was appalled...APPALLED...by Adam Lambert's version of it last year on American Idol.
3. Like We Never Loved At All- Faith Hill and Tim McGraw: I love this song regardless of my relationship status..and of course this would be my favorite Faith and Tim duet.
4. Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien- Edith Piaf: I think I love this song not only because how pretty it is, but also because it plays during one of my favorite scenes in the movie Bull Durham when Susan Sarandon's character is reflecting on the mess she has made of her love life- and haven't we all!
5. Everything- Michael Buble: Pretty much sums up how you want every guy to feel about you...play count on itunes is astronomical. 
6. Vienna- Billy Joel: It's hard to pick one Billy Joel song (in that you really can't find a bad one), but the lyrics of this one really hit home.
7. California Sky- Unwritten Law: Reminds me of high school, bubbly water, strarburst fruit twists and of course Elle and 'Gwyn'. 
8. How Can We Be Lovers- Michael Bolton: Classic. Just classic. Plus, I have perfected the arm pump during the "We can work it out" high point of this TIMELESS power ballad.
9. As Long As It Matters-Gin Blossoms: It's been about ten years, and I'm still sad this group broke up.
10. Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now- Starship: This song is pretty much perfect for any situation...work out, getting ready, road trip, dance party, wedding (seriously), photo montage...and the list goes on and on! 

Honorable Mentions: 

• Haven't Got Time For The Pain- Carly Simon: I stole this cassette from my parents- yes, I said cassette. I blame the brainwashing on THREE cross country trips during my impressionable youth.
• You Won't Find This- Carrie Underwood: This deserves a good play at the top of your speaker's capability. 
• I Will Always Love You- Whitney Houston: Obviously.

15 Signs You are Over Your Ex

I will read anything in list form. Seriously, if you want people to read what you have to say, put bullets in, or better, number it. Hell, that's the only reason I read most of the articles on The Frisky. This article actually caught my attention for the content though, and not just it's ability to succinctly form 10 issues. Some of them are stupid, but I think the underlying issue is that, no matter how long it takes your to get over someone, it will happen when you stop focusing on the actual act of "moving on", and actually refocus back on living your own life, after that, everything will just...fall in to place. Easier said than done, naturally.

1. You haven’t read his horoscope in over a month.
2. You take the most
direct route to work instead of driving the long way to check for unfamiliar
cars in his driveway.
3. It was his mother’s birthday last week and you
didn’t remember until this morning.
4. Your best friend suggests you delete
the photo you’ve saved of him in your camera and you don’t even flinch.
5.
It’s been three weeks since you “could have sworn” you saw him on the street.
6. You meet someone new at a party and when he asks if you have a boyfriend,
you say “no” instead of “I did, but we broke up.”
7. You’ve stopped
wondering if he’ll call.
8. You no longer think of that pretty green dress
in your closet as “his favorite dress.”
9. You don’t hear from him on your
birthday and you’re fine with it.
10. You’ve stopped secretly following him
on Twitter.
11. You go on a date and don’t feel the urge to mention your ex
once.
12. You no longer compare new guys against the pros and cons of your
ex.
13. You find an old T-shirt of his hiding in a drawer and you throw it
out. [Or use it as a cleaning rag. More earth-friendly than paper
towels!—Editor]
14. You spend a Saturday night at home with Thai take-out
and a chick flick and don’t feel the least bit sorry for yourself.
15. You
don’t need a list to tell you you’re over the mother-f**ker already.

- Via The Frisky

Murphy's Law. You are real and a bitch, and a REAL BITCH

True story, last summer I tried speed dating on a whim, it was....interesting. I don't think its necessarily the where I will find a husband, or the owner of my future monogrammed towels, but it is definitely an experience that I think everyone should try just for kicks.

Anyway, I ended up going on a few dates with a cute lanky, and very nice British guy. Great on paper, he was cute, owned his apartment, had a great job, but the chemistry wasn't there ...so I bailed. Literally, I bailed, i.e. stopped responding to emails, calls, texts. I felt pretty lame/ pathetic/ rude, and should have just done the big girl thing and said, "yeah, I don't think this is working".

Well, the Brit got his, because last night as I was ducking out of the gym, post workout, I run into him on the street. It wasn't a "Hello" type run in, it was a stop, stare and walk away. So, true story, if you treat a boy not so well, you WILL see him again, and Mr. Murphy and his law will dictate that you won't look lovely, in fact, you will probably be tomato red, with sweaty hair, and in old yoga pants.

I AM IN LOVE

A candy cane headband! Are you serious! I love you Kate Spade. Only 35 dollars.

Love the bow. Juicy Couture, 40 dollars.

The roommate squealed in delight. And how can you blame her? Jennifer Behr, 82 dollars.

Just like a crown! J.crew, 17 dollars.

"That moment, I wasn't angry anymore. Kids, you may think there's only one choice - you swallow your anger or throw it in someone's face. There's a third option: You can just let it go, and only when you do that it is really gone, then you can move forward. And that was the perfect end to a perfect love story. It just wasn't mine. Mine was still out there, waiting for me."

– How I Met your Mother

CONGRATS BIG RED

Big Red completed the 2009 NYC ING Marathon yesterday, and I couldn't be more proud of her. She finished in under 4:30, with pace under 10 minutes. Congrats my dear!

PS - Saw her at mile17 and she was smiling and looked AWESOME!

2009: You're AWESOME

I am emotionally exhausted (well physically too, I have mild insomnia sometimes). I am tired of dating. But mostly, I am tired of TALKING about dating. I am bored to death talking about boys who I dated, boys I wanted to date, boys I want to date, guys I wish I had never met , and guys I wished I could get over.

It’s kind of how my grandmother still asks me about my Jr. Prom Date. “Elle, what about that nice boy who went to (Insert Sub par Ivy Here)?”. Well Grams, that was 10 years ago, he had a bad haircut, and we live across the country. Like ENOUGH!

I feel like I had the same conversation about 4564351 times this weekend. “What’s the deal with you and CT boy?” Ya know, NOTHING is going on with it. It has a lot of back story and issues that I would rather not get into with every person I talk to. It is what it is, and I am SO serious when I say I am happy with that.

Part of the problem with telling people about your personal life is that they will hound you endlessly about it. Sometimes it’s out of a need to make conversation, or sometimes it’s out of nosiness/ concern/ genuine interest. My mom (love you so much mommy), is always asking me what’s going on with so-and –so/whoever . Ya know, if something was “going on”, I would tell you guys. Really. When I don’t gab constantly, its actually out of a lack of news to report, not because I am depressed, lonely, etc. , as Em sometimes worries about, and yes, I am thankful I have people like Mommy Elle and Em who care a lick about my personal comings and goings, but sometimes, we have to trust that our friends have it more together than we give them credit for.
I don’t imagine monogrammed towels with every boy I date, and maybe that’s my fault, I am not husband hunting, but at my age, I should probably stop dicking around and try to date boys who are least LTR potential (Long Term Relationship).

I am just trying to live my life (all cylinders) in the present. My life is pretty awesome, and it should get more attention for its awesomeness in its current condition. And I don’t want to analyze the shoulda-coulda-woulda’s anymore. 2009 was a crazy year for me. I got a job I love, I found a gold mine 2 closet apartment in NYC, I got dumped in a major way, and to tell you the truth. I wouldn’t change a moment. All the little things, and big things, have culminated into a giant orb of awesome, and its just the beginning.

“Yes! Live! Life's a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!” –
Auntie Mame

“Love demands expression. It will not stay still, stay silent, be good, be modest, be seen and not heard, no. It will break out in tongues of praise, the high note that smashes the glass and spills the liquid. It is no conservationist love. It is a big game hunter and you are the game. A curse on this game.

— Jeanette Winterson, “Written On The Body.”

LOVE the new Carrie Underwood: Undo It

God, isn't she adorable? Love her. 

PS: Her new CD comes out in two days! Yayaya!