Well, Good Evening Cliff Lee

If you happened to catch Game 1 of the World Series last night, it would be hard to miss Cliff Lee's magic on the pitching mound. It was also hard to miss what a babe he is. Welcome to NY, Cliff.

XO,

Elle

10 Signs your Budding Relationship...is a FAIL.

Sometimes we just fail to see the warning signs that our brand new R-bomb (relationship), is not going to get off the ground.

1. He's goes hot/ cold like a bad faucet. Any guy that yo'yo's you around so carelessly, isn't invested in you. So don't invest back.


2. You aren't too concerned if you don't see him. Further, if "Free drinks/ food/ AC" is your motivator to meet up with him then you really aren't excited and giddy to see him, and THATS a bad sign.


3. You're his rebound. You'll never know if you are actually the girl of his dreams, or the girl he settled for to keep his bed warm after the ACTUAL girl of his dreams crushed his heart.


4. He took you to Olive Garden. Enough said.


5. Its got a deadline. End of summer/ semester/ vacation. If you already got an end pending in your filo fax, this baby will never go anywhere.


6. You only met up when drunk/ tips/ under the influence. This isn't college. Meeting up when drunk is NOT a date.


7. You never actually go on real dates. Lack of QT is a flashing NO-GO sign.


8. Textual Harassment. Texts and emails shouldn't be the whole of your communication. Texts are an aide, not a means. PICK UP THE PHONE!


9. Lack of chemistry. Make-outs seem flat and awkward? Are you distracted sounds of traffic outside because you just aren't into it? Not a sign of long term love.


10. He calls you "Dude". No way around this, any guy who calls you "dude"/ "bud"/ College Nickname/ Last name will never thing of you as "Elle - Goddess of all things AWESOME".

Not every relationship is going to end in a walk down the aisle. Dating is learning, and with learning comes knowledge that sometimes you need to pull the plug on a relationship fast tracked to nowhere.


Editors Note: No matter how good he looks in nantucket red pants, this cannot be the sole reason to hope a fling materializes ito something substantial. What a shame.

My Quarter Life Crisis Explained

Last night I was on the phone with Mommy Elle and I was rattling off my agenda for the rest of the week, and I said tomorrow (tonight) I have my training for Big Brothers/ Sisters of America. My mother literally got a teeny bit angry, and asked why on earth I was involving myself with something else. My mother doesn't discourage charitable givings, but she also doesn't get why I am doing this. "You don't have time for this". I do. "Yo already do Jr. League". I am on a fundraising committee, and while we fund the community outreach committees, it is hard for me to count this completely as a selfless use of my time.

After I got off the phone, I thought about my past community outreach projects, and for someone who claims to dislike children (in general - I really do not like kids), a large portion of my charitable projects have revolved around children. But not just regular kids, special needs children, whether it be an inner city girls mentor program that my sorority was involved with, or teaching autistic kids to swim. I like to feel needed. Being 25 in NYC without a BF means marriage isn't in my near future, and children even less so. And thats fine, believe me. But, there comes a natural point in your life when you want to feel needed and relied upon. I know I won't get this feeling satisfied being a relative minion on the corporate ladder. Believe me, I love my job, but I'm not saving lives. And while my family and I are super close, they don't rely on me, they don't have to.

I am not throwing a pity party and saying that I lead of life minimal existence, I am just saying, that I have a fair sense of perspective and I am no one's or nothing's axis. To pretend to be would be lofty and unrealistic, but I just want to be important (relatively speaking) in my small sphere of influence.

At my age 50 years ago, people were married, popping out children, and were important in their spheres. They were needed and relied upon by various people on a daily basis. Being 25 in 2009 means very little, and most of my peers are struggling to find a career/ passion that gives them purpose. I'm just trying to inject something purposeful and worthwhile in my life. Fair enough?

Side Note: DYFU is Team Jen all the way, but we can't deny the projects and charitable givings that Angelina has committed herself to. If she has time to do it, I certainly do.

Why are you all up in my biznass?

I get the Coquette, hot/cold, push/pull, catch/ release move. Really I do. In fact I am an actual offender of this horrible dating tactic. But ya know what? I want it to disappear. It's most certainly no fun when you are the one being pushed and pulled, it has temporary effectiveness, but the underlying consequence is that I get annoyed , and skeptical.

CT college boy does a FCP (Full Court Press) texting blitzkreig followed by a disappearing act, then its FCP again. Definite check in the "Neg" column. Mr. Peter Pan was a serial offender. Its as if he texted/ emailed whenever he felt like it, without regard for anyone's agenda but his own (...possibly a result of his only child shortcomings).

In the short term, I may give credence to these horrible communication outreaches by responding, but in the long run, i don't trust that these boys will stick around. And you can't build a house of love without a foundation of trust.

Mini rant: Boys - are you so whimsical and inspired by the moment that you text however you fancy? Get a hold of yourself! Man up!! Go big or go home, and by "go home", i mean, delete my contact information.

P dot S - Guide to Menhattan, a DYFU fave, echoes my sentiments in totality.

Sliding Doors

As I am sure you all agree, one of the greatest questions of our time is why, oh why, is public transport not an appropriate place to hit on someone/be hit on?!? Elle by her own admission has been hit on only twice on the subway in more than three years in New York- a borderline travesty for someone that adorable. What gives?

Sure, there are a lot of creepy people on the subway/metro etc during the morning commute- but there are an equal amount of adorable, clean, sober, well-suited and properly caffeinated men. Is it just too awkward to tap someone on the shoulder in the harsh metro lighting? Are those damn IPOD's getting in the way of true love (guilty as charged)? Is it just too early in the morning for witty quips and hilarious banter?

Are we totally off base here?  Or has my love of Sliding Doors completely blinded me to the inherent taboo of starting a conversation with a complete stranger on the subway?

"Don't you want to work for a club that makes Soho House look like one of those dirty public schools with a number for its name?"

Jenny...you are one skinny little betch, and if you really were Queen Bee, couldn't you figure out a way to make your friend, excuse me, your STEP BROTHER cool enough for you to hang out with? Actually enjoyed the episode, until i remembered that these kids are 18 years old, then became immed annoyed. GOSSIP GIRL RECAP, HOORAY!

PS - Blair, stop the relationship sabotage, it is beginning to worry me.

Dating Tip of the Day: "I am flawed"

You are probably thinking, Elle, why the fox would i take dating advice from you? Well, good point, why would you? Well, because aside from my current dating disaster, a speciality of mine is dating. Relationships, I can't say I am an ace in that department, but dating, yes, I am.

Tip: Show off minor flaws to avoid having to reveal major ones.

Pretending to be perfect is hard, i mean, if it were easy, everyone would be doing it. In addition to being difficult, it also serves no purpose. No one wants to date a straight edge blah robot (...and if he does...RUN!). People get suspicious of perfect, like wholey moley, this person is a nut case just dying to break free. SO rather than pretending you are without flaws, throw a few minor idiosyncratic flaws out on the table. It will make you seem, endearing, cute, and "real", and most guys, aside from George Constanza, will love this. No one wants someone ACTUALLY flawed, just superficially flawed.

Some examples:

• Faux addictions (Coffee, Mad Men, jolly ranchers, Diet Coke, the gym) in lieu of ACTUAL addictions (i.e. prescription meds, stalking, etc)
  
• Being a stickler for punctuality (Bet his ex made him wait around endlessly...what a bitch she probably was)


• Cheeseball sayings in place of the F-bomb, my "Heavens to Betsy" is a hit. Boys think its adorable.
  
• Pretending to be klutzy. Note: this is different than being an actual klutz. Think Cameron Diaz.
• Failure to Navigate. Em's go-to move is throwing out a story about getting lost or being super disoriented. (She has a 90% post date text success rate people!)
  
• Faux Nerd-ism. Love of Jeopardy, Nat Geo, the History Channel, the WSJ, non-fiction, Crossword Puzzles (Sadly, I actually like these things, but boys always find it endearing).

In Em's words, "I attempt to humanize myself with things that really dont represent me", because after all, if thy don't actually know you, they they can never actually dislike the real you, but who'd dislike you anyway, right?

Don't throw good money after bad

Its generally good advice that if you see an investment in a perpetual downward state that you don't keep pouring money, time, and manpower at it. Well, the same is very true in dating. So awhile back I mentioned that I kinda, sorta ,started "dating" (non exclusive dates) my guy friend from college. Seeing as I always had a crush on him, I thought the transition may have a few moments of awk, but overall would go ok. I was wrong. What has come to be over the past 4 months has been a blur of "friends just hanging out"/ faux dating (dinner, brunch, drinks, movies)/ sporting events.

There are def moments of cutesy on the verge of dating cues, aka hand holding, peck on check, 1 makeout (yes, Mother...). But then there is alot of "Cool dude. Talk to you later", um WHAT, you cant call me "DUDE". There is also so much inconsistency. Like one minute he is doing a full court press with texts and calls, then the next he may as well be in the witness protection program.

I think the problem is me. Big Red brought up a good point over unlimited mimosa brunch on Saturday (Delish!). She said she had two options with dating, you either go smoldering temptress (my words, not hers), or "cute"/ "Sweet"/ "Cutesy". And while my guy friends have seen me from many facets, Fantasy Football Dominator/ Angry g-chatter/ Dancing on Tables/ Burning my lungs and other people's ears with Karaoke, they haven't seen my attempts at "smoldering temptress", I just can't be cool flirty! And I don't think he will ever look at me like you would want the guy you are dating to look at you.

While I can't say this is a total stressor in my life right now, (I am not super invested), it also begs the question, WHY, I am doing this? Em says that the fact that College Boy wears pink pants, goes sailing,, is tall, lanky and from CT is not enough to keep hanging on (Really Em.?..he looks so cute in khakissssssss - our little children would have been a Ralph Lauren DREAM!). I think its time to call the WASP a loss, and move on.

PS - Boy in pic is a vineyard vines model, not said WASP. This boy could call me "Dude" all day long and it would be fine with me.

Halloween!

Halloween is a week away, and although Elle does not enjoy this particular holiday, I have been plotting and planning my costume since the beginning of September. Halloween doesn't have to be expensive and finding a costume should be fun and not a headache. This year I am being the Lucky Charms leprechaun (the rest of my friends are going as other cereal box characters- Captain Crunch, Tony the Tiger etc), so my challenge is going to be finding a middle ground between the creepy ginger and the slutty "gold" digger....I mean really! Is that a tutu?!?

Regardless, putting together your Halloween costume together is 1/2 as fun if you just buy a cookie cutter costume at the store. Instead, go to Michaels or Walmart and get creative.

I am a full believer that anything can be made with a Toga, ribbon, some false eyelashes and a lot of glitter spray.

E-mail us at doyoufancyus@gmail.com with your own great DYI Halloween ideas.

Come on Steve Phillips, you can do better than THAT?!

Can't you? Seriously? Its been recently revealed that ESPN analyst Steve Phillips, a fairly good looking silver fox, and Brooke Hundley, an unnattractive 22-year-old production assistant had a hot hush hush office affair. Banging the ugly girl after you have downed half a bottle of Patron, ok, but, seeing this chick, in daylight, sober, and he STILL slept with her? Seriosuly? Have you no shame?

The embarassment gets worse for the Phillips fam, as Brooke allegedly stalked his wife with letters and phone calls in hopes of landing network gig. I mean, we MAY be in a recession still, but I am pretty sure there are more conventional routes to getting a job.

Haven't we gone over this? IF YOU ARE A PUBLIC OFFICIAL AND YOU CHEAT...YOU WILL GET CAUGHT. Go big or go home, if you are gonna slam someone who is not your wife, make sure it isn't the office porker.

Chick Flicks Are Toxic

Em warned me not to watch it. But sometimes you don't listen to sound advice, sometimes you have to find out the truth for yourself. When Em and I first saw the trailer for the movie "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past", we wondered if someone had stolen our brain and created a movie. Like all/most girls, we assume we are the exception, the "one who got away" if you will, the one who all the rules don't apply to. This movie, dangerously, gives me hope/ gratification in thinking that YES, every boy who I left/ who left me is still in some deep down place pining over the glory that is me. On my flight out to Vegas I watched this, and yes, I cried. What? My eyes were dry!

Let me make this clear, boys aren't born assholes, they become assholes. HOW? Well, because somewhere early in their romantic life, an Em or an Elle or a YOU spurned them, spurned them badly, without reason or regard. Maybe we broke their heart, or wreaked some other irrevocable romantic damage upon their tepid soul.

We wonder where all the good guys have gone? Well, we knew those boys. They existed once. We killed off their species with our carelessness. We thought we were destined for something better, or "different", because, who after all, in our day and age falls in love and STAYS in love with their first love? Our jadedness overcame us somewhere along the line. Who is to say that ATN (HS Bf) and I would have been happy 11 years later, but I can say with accuracy that I will never actually know because of my own actions, and I know, Em can say the same.

We now live in a world where we are paying for the sins we committed against GHOSTS OF BOYFRIENDS PAST and Karma is a dick.

Someone once told me that the power in all relationships lies with whoever cares less, and he was right. But power isn't happiness, and I think that maybe happiness comes from caring more about people rather than less... - Ghosts of Girlfriends Past

"They'll be blue skies in a better world, darlin"

Please judge me. Just finished watching Chasing Liberty with Mandy Moore. As cheesy as this movie is, the soundtrack rocks. Don't believe me? Listen to the song below from Chris Isaak. It makes you want to cry sans any and all reason.

Side Note: Songs such as this make me realize I wasn't in over my head. But, it does make me WISH I had been this sad post break up. I wish I FELT something. I wish I felt a hole. I wish I felt a loss. I wish I felt anything at all. Rather, I just feel to this day, a little empty about it all, which may be the saddest part of all.

Chris Isaak - Life will go on
Uploaded by nicobmb. - Independent web videos.

I FOUND MY HALLOWEEN COSTUME!

Firstly, I am not a debbie downer, but Halloween is not a fave holiday of mine. Inmy mind it is like...St. Patty's Day or NYE. Its a ton of work for what always seems to be a let down. YET, I never can fully avoid it completely. I always somehow get sucked into a party or 3 and costuming, etc. The costume is always the bane of my existence. There is a fie line between fun/ cutesy/ classy sexy and skank , and walking this line is the challnge of the ages. I may be taking the easy way out by not stretching the limits of my own creativity, but so what, a good idea is a good idea, and who am I to judge where it came from?

So I give you...ELOISE!

"You're supposed to say everything is going to be all right! Where did you learn how to give a pep talk, Guantánamo?"

Dan, lets be clear, Rufus is your father, however, Lilly is NOT your mother. They got married one episode ago. Let me remind you that you have your own mother. She may be as flakey as a croissant, but a mother none the less.

Gossip Girl has gone so off the deep end of reality (...were they ever there...??) that I am choosing so just embrace this show as it is, and have found it to be far more enjoyable in this regard. Even more enjoyable? The RECAP.

Good Girl Goes Dark

Tot loving Mandy Moore's new dark brown locks. Maybe thats why guys prefer blondes, there is something majorly kick ass / bitchy/ awesome about dark brown hair, perhaps most guys just aren't equipped to handle it, eh?

"Enjoy the world as it is, Margaret. They'll change it, and they'll never give you a reason."

I am a fake Mad Men fan. I don't follow religiously, I don't DVR it, but every time I do find myself watching it, I always think, I really should rent the older seasons, get caught up and jump on the band wagon. Its a show I love that I must work on giving more time to. Fact.

If you are like me, and perhaps catch it sporadically, check out the recap.

Leighton Meester's New Single

I feel guilty saying this...but I don't like it...at all. OKAY. You've forced it out of me. I hate it! I don't even feel like you can HEAR her singing. Am I totally off base here? Has my Blair Waldorf hero worship been dimmed by this so far lack luster season of GG? Help!

Gotta Love a Neck Tie

Maybe it is the lawyer in me or perhaps we can blame it on my misplaced affinity for 80's fashion for working women- but I do love a good bow at the neckline. Sure, sometimes I look a bit like a vintage flight attendant...but there is just something about a smart bow at the neck that says "I mean business"....no?

Adore!

How can you not love the girly, yet quirky, looks for Kate Spade this fall? I swear this is the season I wear colored tights and Ali McGraw inspired hats. I will only have long blonde hair and the license to wear fun clothes for so long (says my own made up Emily Post on dressing your age)

Loving This

Black cherry chutney nail polish from OPI. Perfect for the Fall and Winter!

For Shame, Jennifer Aniston!

I'm not going to lie. When I saw the headline that John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston were back together, I may have gotten a bit upset/annoyed.

I know. Why do I care? Although DYFU is firmly Team Aniston, the decisions of celebrities I usually harp on are the one's which include too tight bandage dresses, drugged out trainwrecks and faux lesbianism.

The rub is, I, like Jennifer Aniston, have slightly horrible taste in men. Yes, they have all had a lot of good qualities, but ultimately they were completely wrong for me. Jennifer Aniston seems to have the same problem choosing her men. Example: John Mayer is ridiculously talented, good looking and funny. However, he is also a toxic man child/peter pan whose ability to respect other's seems extremely limited. So, although JM has a lot of things going for him, he is always going to be the wrong guy for JA because he has the emotional maturity of a 15 year old highschool sophomore. Not exactly the ideal mate for a 40 year old woman who wants an emotionally stable relationship.

It took me awhile to stop blaming the guys I've dated for the flaws/quirks/issues that have ultimately meant they were incompatible with me. The thing I finally realized was, a lot of the blame actually falls on me. It's not like I was complely passive in the decision to date these men who I was never going to end up with. I wasn't. I actively pursued some of them, or refused to get off the on/off relationship merry-go-round with other's. The point is, I put myself in a position where it was more likely than not that I was going to get hurt- I was trying to shove a square peg into a round hole. What exactly did I expect to happen? I guess the same goes for Jennifer Aniston.

My point is, we have to break ourselves from the habit of dating these men who we intiallty find super interesting/fun/dynamic....when we know deep down their relationship light is on red...indefintely. I was never going to be able to fix the things which were going to inhibit the so called happily ever after, so why did I even bother? That also doesn't mean you have to settle...but continually dating people where there are glaring red flags doesn't seem to make to much sense either.

File Under Amazing Time Wasters

Check out this website for amazing photoshop mishaps (bobble heads, ridiculous airbrushing, floating appendages).
Photoshop disasters

Use Somebody - Kings of Leon

Thank god I have never been into drugs because I have a mildly addictive personality. Once I get tot in love with a song, I blast it on repeat 24-7 until my love turns to apathy which evolves into disdain.

Today's Song of the day/week/month/until my ears bleed: Kings of Leon "Use Somebody". LOVE LOVE LOVE.

Vegas is always good in theory...

..but it just isn't "my kind of town". I leave bright and early tomo for a quick little work trip to LAS VEGAS! Hold the applause, ask me if I have packed, go ahead, ask me. NOPE. Haven't packed. Moving on, so I probably shouldn't be complaining that I am going to Vegas, most people would jump with elation, and to bring it back down to earth I should probably just be excited to HAVE a job. But for reals, Vegas is not...that...awesome.

Why am *I* not jazzed?

1. Gambling is always more fun with other people's money. FACT. When I turned 21, Mommy Elle and Daddy Elle took me for a weekend at the Mandalay Bay, and let me tell you, playing the roulette table with Mommzers was incredibly delightful when I didn't have to think about actual spending my own money. PS - She kicks butt at the roulette table.
   
2. SportsBook is a NO-GO. I leave Friday around noon, so while some of my eager guy friends have informed me that I can "mail in" for my winnings for NFL Sunday and College Gameday, that seems like way too much effing work.
   
3. NO POOL time. Not that pool + co-workers would be my dream scenario, but even still, Vegas sans the Pool? Its like Chips without Guac, tot incomplete. PS - Def NOT referring to any of those massive drunken orgies disguised as "pools". People pee in those pools, NOT COOL.
4. Vegas is F-ing expensive. Most people think of Vegas as a splurge, and like to go big, well, no thanks, I refuse to GO BIG for a midweek 2 day jaunt.
5. Its a long flight! If I am in a plane that long, I may be tempted to yell, don't stop here, one more hour then I am HOME (aka San Diego)
6. There aren't nearly enough bedazzlers and sequins to Vegas-ize my wardrobe. FACT.
   
7. If I want to see Joey Guido and Tommy Guns in 'da club, I would hop on New Jersey Transit and deport myself to the shore where I could find them in their natural habitat.
   
8. Oh yes, I will be working, which whilst much better than working in New York Social Siberia (AKA the area surrounding Penn Stations) it's still work, people, if it was fun, they'd call it, well, I am pretty sure they'd just call it "fun".

ANYWAY, I will be MIA for a few days, so take good care of Em for me while I am away!

"Trust me, Nate, I know women, and none of us are that nice."

Do you know what else is not nice..? GOSSIP GIRL SEASON 3. WTF has happend? For serious. File under additional things that are not nice: Jenny Humphrey's clothes. UGH horrible. The only bright shining moment? The recap!

Happy Columbus Day!

So SOME people were lucky enough to get today off (*cough Em cough*), but for those of us that weren't as lucky, your consolation prize is 30% off at Tucker Blair! Enter COUMBUS at check out!



Anyone want to buy me some Lobster Flippy Floppies?

Speaking of Lobster, as my NY ladies can attest, one of my joys in life is LOBSTER ROLLS. In NYC you find that they are either super $$ and /or too mayo-y (ew ..."If its white don'tbite" - seriously). So when I found Luke's Lobster down the street from my old apt I REJOICED. Place is awesome. Best NY lobster roll I have ever had. TRUE.

At Home Facial

Reblogged from Nonsociety

1. Start by cleaning skin with a creamy, non-drying cleanser (I like Cetaphil).

2. Rub a mild exfoliator into your skin using circular motions; rinse off.

3. Pour hot water into a large bowl, cover your head with a towel, and lean over the bowl for a few minutes to steam your pores (if you get too hot, just stop - the point isn’t to make you uncomfortable).

4. Apply a mask that suits your skin type (clay-based masks help with breakouts, while moisturizing masks condition and soften skin) for the amount of time specified on the package; rinse off. Here, I’m wearing Origins’ oh-so-attractive - but excellent - Make a Difference Skin Rejuvenating Sheet Mask.

5. Apply a serum to your skin (I tried Origins’ Brighter by Nature and really liked it).

6. Finish with moisturizer (remember to use one with an SPF if you’re planning to head outdoors with your lovely, glowy new skin).

The Only Time I Have Ever Enjoyed Nancy Grace

Chill the FOX out

Seriously. People make mistakes. We are human. We are flawed and fallible. Just because someone is a celebrity, or on tv doesn't mean they should be held to a higher standard. I mean, really, I would hold myself to a much higher standard than say, Lindsay Lohan (ONE HOT MESS). In fact, it was funny guy Craig Ferguson (who may be biased in defending his boss) who said "I quite like my entertainers to be dangerous. I like my musicians to be kind of drug-fueled," Ferguson said. "Cause if you want entertainers to be squeaky clean, then who are you going to be watching? Jonas Brothers."

All you can ask of others is that people own up to their mistakes, admit fault, and move forward with a learned lesson.

Damned if you do and damned if you don't, we judge those who cover-up and yet in the same strain, we judge those who come clean. David Letterman's extracurricular sexual exploits probably shouldn'y be filed under morally admirable behavior, but jeez, he didn't break the law. He had sex with a willing, of legal age young woman.

And HEY feminists, are you saying that a women who is younger and lower on the work totem pole is incapable of being a powerful man's sexual equal? The board room is NOT the bedroom. You ASSUME (naively and pathetically) that since he is older/ more powerful/ wears amazingly well tailored double breasted suits that she was pressured or mistreated in some way. In case you haven't gotten the memo, being a woman is one of the most powerful tools we have in our arsenal, and just because an "ambitious" "overacheiver" used one of her "additional assests" to get ahead, doesn't mean we should be calling for a workplace pandemic, or for Dave's head on a platter. So hey NOW, maybe you should consider renaming your club, "National Organization for Selective Angry Women", because you surely do not speak for me.

I want my hair to look like this

Its shiny. Its healthy. Its bouncy in a controlled purposeful way. HOW do I get this? Glosses? Keratin treatments? Rinses? TELL ME!

Em has always been the one with better hair, bleh.

Keep Fighting. Keep Loving.

(Via KissAndTell)

UM, Prob Couldn't Have Said This Better Myself...

Frances Bean Cobain (Of Kurt Cobain fame) wrote an "open letter" (Oh, how I enjoy those) to Little Ali Lohan (Of Lindsey Lohan fame) on her livejournal. This letter is on point with a splash of uber bitch.

This is my open letter to Ali Lohan.
Your not entitled to anything
simply because your sister has a recognizable name. Your idea of fame isn't
fame. It's infamy. You want to be famous? Work your ass off and make decisions
that could potentially catapult your career into a lasting one. Notariety for
who you are and notaritey for the work you produce are two completely differnt
things. I understand that you have been brought up in an envirtoment where the
idea of fame is easily achievable but, that's not an excuse. You lack the
talent, social understanding and credibility to be anything other then infamous.
Your careere choices, thus far, will transcend a future career as someone who
attempted to be famous, but never quite achieved it. And if you do, it will be
the formality of fame that puts you on the covers of tabloids, while the public
idly watches you plumit into the murky abyss shared with the likes of Spencer
Pratt & Jon Gosslin who, i'm sure, will steal your money whilst there.
Fortunately for the world, there are people who have and don't have recognizable
names, who have obtained artistic integrity and will one day, hopefully, bring
that tangible artisticness into light again. Though, its hard to think thats
achievable when people like You ali lohan are rendering the world of true talent
by attempting to make your entitled ass noticed. How is this fair to the people
who HAVE artistic integrity, or a mind? How is it fair to those who truly have
something to offer the human race other then a dwindling last name and a few
shitty films, both of which, solidified the idea that your just a celebrities
sibling. I recognize that i might come across as harsh and no, i don't
personally know you, but its the actions that you take, that speak for you. You
blatently don't care how your recognized, its the objective to get famous and
that is what makes you replaceable and a recycled idea .Well, im ashamed to have
to be grouped into the same category of person as you. I would rather die a most
painful death the be assoicated with the kind of careere your trying to make for
your self. I hope i'm wrong because generally i'm not a very judgmental person,
but in the case of you, that is MY entitlement.

OH SNAP. I concur x 1000. She is on the fast track to being one big hot mess, just like the other La Lohan.

These Military Jackets Worthy Of a Salute

From Old Navy, only $69.50.

New Music

For those of you wondering what the adorable song in The Office wedding promo (below) is and want to download it, you can find it on itunes: Daniel Powter- Love You Lately

"I just need to know that, in this misbegotten corner of Manhattan, wealth, ambition, and moral laxity are still alive and well."

Lily is back! Tyra was frightening. Tory is cute as a button. This Olivia Burke story line is in no way believeable. Jenny annoys me, as does Dan, maybe its a familial thing? All for a Monday. Enjoy the Gossip Girl Recap!

It's really hard to walk in a single woman's shoes -- that's why you sometimes need really special shoes!

I am a huge single gal advocate as of late, but just because I am throwing around the Carrie Bradshaw pom-poms doesn't mean I think its all a bucket of rainbows or 100% easy. Sometimes - it sucks. You go on bad dates, or worse, you go on a good date and then nothing comes of it. You are constantly trying to find your footing, and all the while, convincing yourself that (truthfully or not) you have it under control. From where I stand, it seems that the only light at the end of the tunnel is the knowledge that every experience, fun or not, painful or not, brings knowledge and a lesson and that is constantly pushing you toward something better.

Trust me, it's paradise. This is where the hungry come to feed. For mine is a generation that circles the globe and searches for something we haven't tried before. So never refuse an invitation, never resist the unfamiliar, never fail to be polite and never outstay the welcome. Just keep your mind open and suck in the experience. And if it hurts, you know what? It's probably worth it. - The Beach

Lindsay Lohan - you are one hot mess

Lay off the self tanner. Toss the peroxide. Burn your eye make up. Fire your stylist. Locate a brush.

So Adorable

Heads up for long time fans of The Office, Pam and Jim are getting married during the next episode! This promo is really cute, esp if you have followed the show since the beginning.

Happy Friday!

It's finally REALLY Fall, which means the weekends should be packed with beerfests, pumpkin patches and hours of brainstorming about Halloween costumes.

Love Glee

I was having some trouble finding the show version to embed, but you should absolutely listen to this rendition of the Queen classic. The whole clip can be found here. I guarantee a smile, or in my case an insatiable need to break out in song.

Wash that Man Right Out of Your Hair

So while I do like to keep a few boys on retainer for ego stroking, there are some cases where it is better that you eridicate them completely from your life. These boys are a different kind of toxic, and if there mere existence is straining your sanity, read on:

1. Dramatic and NOT Suggested: Changing your cell phone number and email address. RATHER, take his number out of your cell (or in my case, get a new cell and make sure his number doesn't carry over into the new phone) and block him on g-chat.


2. Dramatic and NOT Suggested: Breaking your lease and uprooting to somewhere silly, like Alaska. RATHER, when your lease is up, change neighborhoods for a change in scenery. If you need a breathe of fresh air, weekend trips with your girl friends are a god send.


3. Dramatic and NOT Suggested: Shaving your head ala Demi Moore in GI Jane or crazy Brit. RATHER, freshen up your locks with a temp rinse, maybe a gloss, or some long layered bangs.


4. Dramatic and NOT Suggested: Avoiding every and all Starbucks, because you once shared a cup of coffee at the one on First ave and 16th. RATHER: Avoid going to the bagel place across the street from his apartment.


5. Dramatic and NOT suggested: Getting a boob job/ nose job/ tatoo RATHER: If you want bigger jugs, get a padded bra, in the mean time, hit the gym!

Cut offs and Uggs - Its a DON'T

Britney, why do you make it so hard for us to root for you? No one liked crazy Britney. The bloated Brit with the army coif and clothes that looked like they were bought off the rack in the Jr.'s section. Your bod is not in I'm-a-Slave-For-You condition, and it may never be again, but you still look good, just, please, dress more approp.

P Dot S - No matter how banging your bod is, you CANNOT wear cut off shorts and ugg boots. WHY WON'T THIS LOOK GO SOMEWHERE TO DIE?